As I sit down the write this a strange bout of depression has unwittingly snuck up on me, and the motivation I usually have to write and get things done is no where to be found. Allergies have clouded my head and are throbbing at one side of my partially swollen throat, and my beautiful book I've recently received in the mail and can finally hold in my hands needs to be edited but can't be right now because it also needs to be read. As I can't find an outside source to do both simultaneously, currently my mom is reading it through, a big thank you goes out to her right now, but we all know it's not the same. Especially since she's not an editor, and therefore she can't do both the way say, a professional would be able to. Meanwhile my deadline for my book continues to get pushed further and further as my original editor has gone into the wind and is no where to be found right now.
I just feel lost right now.
While I attempt to make peace with my current state of mind searching for new things to do to keep me busy that don't involve being outside, I'm realizing despite all these positive people out there telling us through the likes of social media that "We Can Do It All" and "Stay Positive"—it's okay not to be okay. I'm certainly not today. It's also equally okay to feel like you can't get something done. During these incredible times of low morale you probably don't have the same motivational level you would otherwise, and that is perfectly okay too.
I simply hope tomorrow is better, and if not I suppose I'm binge watching Netflix until I can find my way back. I also know I will find my way back because I always do. There is a light at the end of my tunnel, whether or not I can see it yet. I know there is because I can sense it. But if you don't feel like you can see your light—that's okay too because remember, you don't have to be okay just as you don't have to know you're going to be okay. But you do need to know you're not alone in your dismal despair.
I'm here for you 💖
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