Requesting All Readers:

How would you like to help an (unpublished) author by editing an book? Or at least a scene for one I should say.

Here's the background:

For my summer writing course we were asked to pick a scene and show it to the class. I picked my scene, showed it, and now I'm supposed to turn in the final draft. But it's not that simple for me considering this is much more than an average homework assignment. I chose (as we were allowed) to use a scene from my sequel to the first book I'm working on. Originally this scene was in the first novel, Changing Kathryn, but I cut it and am currently in the process of moving it to my sequel (in progress). Now I'm posting this scene to my blog, though now I ask that if you are so willing, to read it and critique it, too. No rush as this scene is due tomorrow and it is as good as I feel it will get for my final draft. But when it comes to being in my book, I want to make sure it works.

At the very least, I do request of your own free will of course, that if you would be so kind as to leave a simple comment about it on the scene's site that would be awesome. Or at the very very least, please click one of the "reaction" buttons below THIS current post (the articles/short stories I post separately do not have such buttons).

Now, here's the deal: If you're just reading this to read it, that's fine. But in the way of critiquing, if you so wish to do so but have never done this before, here are a few ideas for what to comment on:

• Errors
• Legibility (hard to read/understand v. easy to read/understand)
• Likability (hated it v. loved it) 
• Things to elaborate on 
• Or things I should detract from
• Things to delete
• Or things I should add

If you have any questions, leave a comment comment, or you can email me here: sabrina1regan@gmail.com 

--- UPDATE 10/17/17 ---

This is now a closed discussion. No other edits or changes will be received. Thank you for understanding, I apologize for the inconvenience. And I have certainly appreciated all the help!

New Blog Addition!

I have made it possible for you to now know whenever I put up a new post via my "Follow Me by Email" system. It's simple! If you want to know whenever I post something just type in your email address and click submit. It's literally that easy! And then you won't always have to keep checking back to see if I'm keeping up with my blog, as that can get very tedious very quickly. And besides, it's fun to stay up to date so you don't get bogged down trying to catch up, either.

Happy readings!
Sabrina R.

P.S. (7/1/2016 @ 7:24 p.m.) - Thought I should also add I just finished making a few changes. I renamed my list of pages from just "Pages" to "Helpful Pages". I then moved several posts I had originally added to my blog's homepage over to it's own page, listing them under the "Helpful Pages" section to help clean up the look of my blog a bit. I then removed some posts that were originally under this section to the homepage as it made more sense this is where they would be. So if there's anything that you read originally that you want to again but it's not where you thought it would be, that's probably why. Fortunately I have a detailed blog archive, a clean list of "Helpful Pages", plus the "search my blog" tool, so hopefully now it won't be hard to find a specific post again.

Figuring it Out

I'm finally beginning to feel solid in my manuscript again. It's so helpful that I'm in a writing class over the summer where we get to spotlight our material for each other and help everyone out with ideas, and making sure we're staying on track with what we want from our books.

Once this version is done I'll be going through and editing out the minor errors, fix some stuff that my editor and I were working on, then do a mass send-out for anyone who wants one. I'm super excited about this final part as this will feel like this is really it. I'll then gather up the feedback and from there group all the manuscripts I sent out together and go through a mass revision process this way. I think this will really help so I can see what worked for some, what didn't work, and ultimately this will be the best feedback system. Unfortunately the hard part will be finding people who can really take time out of their schedule to really do this seriously. But I'll figure out how to get a system together that works.

Fortunately I've got time, and a lot of interested readers, and most importantly: a manuscript that feels solid once more. Now how to keep it down way below 300 pages is proving the be the tricky part! But like everything else, I'm still figuring it out.

"The Brutals" - Dream

Between my novel and too much Star Trek (as if that's a thing) I had this rather odd dream and decided to write it down:

Kathryn had just been told she had to go through something called 'the brutals', a trying challenge that would prove her strength, abilities, and stamina, while also increasing these as well. For her(a magical being), it was also about increasing her magical abilities and seeing what they could do. This main event was not just for her, however, but for the entire Unity crew (undercover agents) she was working with, as it was to get everyone to 'level up' so to speak. (Apparently this was part video game too?)

Leading up to this event: food stands, carnival games and more lined the gray stone tunnel through which the agents would be tested down. Music was playing loud and cheerfully; many were dancing, agents and starfleet members alike. Lt. Commander Worf was working as a hot dog vendor wearing a blue and yellow krispy-cream-like-hat, head-banging behind the counter as he served up hot dogs, giving Kathryn (me in the dream), a thumbs-up as she passed by to meet up with Wesley Crusher. Wesley gave her a large hug and told her she would do just fine and not to worry; he'd be with her because he had been assigned to go through the brutals as well.

Soon a horn rang out and the music stopped as the announcement came that "the brutals are to begin shortly". The music started up again, a techno-like bouncy beat, and almost immediately after it began it was announced over the music that "the hobbits are going to Isengard" (apparently in this moment it became part of the brutals to catch them.) Soon the announcer began to shout louder and louder, repeating himself: "The hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, to Isengard, to Isengard..." (I'm sure you know the song. If not here it is: "They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard remix", and sorry in advance it's blurry. I just posted it for convenient reasons, not for the graphics).

Anyways, back to the dream: so everyone starts running because they need to catch the hobbits but the second they started down the tunnel I woke up; the song got too loud and eventually I realized that this was my alarm going off. (Yes, my alarm is from a part of this famous Hobbit remix. Don't judge!)

And that's the dream of 'the brutals'.

Flowing Well

I've gone and written out a very simple yet detailed outline for what I've wanted for my current novel and posted it above my desk so I can look at it while I'm writing. It's made the current writing process go very smoothly now, as it keeps me on track regarding what needs to be written so I don't stray from my goal/s.

Currently I'm doing more jigsaw work with my novel as I cut pieces that don't work, and paste in others from various places that do. This is the rewarding process, if not utterly complicated, but now I can feel as if I'm now accomplishing something rather than panicking that I'm not going to be able to do anything with the story I've worked years to create.

Questioning the Manuscript

This is a writer's natural conflict, granted I'm still terrified I have to redo the final portion of the manuscript again. As good as I believe it already is, the final outcome isn't going anywhere I really wanted it to. In the beginning my main character is a social advocate, a phenomenon that fades as the manuscript goes on, which is not what I want as this aspect of hers is far too important to me to lose that in her. Alas she's also got a fighter's spirit and that also doesn't remain strong throughout, and inconsistencies like that do NOT make for good stories as they flatten the character and don't make them believable. I also wanted to focus on the mystery of her bloodlines, as well as her purpose in life. Currently both of these don't get focused on until the 2nd book but I want to push up the 'deadline' on these (don't think that's the word I'm looking for but it's the one I'm using for now). The second book is going to be based mostly around the aftermath of Kathryn finding out the truth behind everything she's learned from the 1st, and how she has grown from it or how it affects her otherwise.

It's going to take more constructing and reconstructing, but I'll get there. Slowly but surely, one word at a time :)

Writing in the Library

Finals are coming to a close so I thought I'd give the update now that I've got some time on my hands right. I just finished doing some Earth Science HW & review; I've still got a little ways to go, but after tomorrow I'm a free little bird! I am super stoked about this, of course, but this means I'll have all the time in the world to get to finishing my manuscript. FINALLY!!!! It's a long and tedious process, and currently I'm thinking of doing some rewriting and I'm a little terrified it's going to change the entire thing AGAIN. But I'm just going to change one section, and then if the rest needs to be redone, so be it. But I'll wait for my editor to help me decide on that one.

Ah, the joys of writing....